I can’t say for sure whether we were connecting telepathically like this, 20 years ago. You didn’t have strangers for roommates in our Freshman year of college. I did. For me, astral projection would have been nearly impossible outside of a quiet, empty space. Only now am I familiar with Hemi-Sync/binaural beats, but those YouTube videos did not exist in 2004.
We’ve established that we would have kept our child, instead of leaving for university, if I was a Christian back then. I foolishly put a greater value on worldly achievements than on a human life. We kept in contact via human/terrestrial modes for about another year after that, as we went off to our separate corners of the country. I was in a tailspin without you. I’ve always been a shortsighted person, and I could not see my way through the situation. I was too proud to admit I was struggling. First, I ghosted you, then later on, everyone else from high school. I committed social suicide, and did not resurface for another 7 years.
After my first collapse, I was simultaneously pursuing two objectives: trying to get past the loss and trying to reach a point in my service industry career where I could one day be a provider. Twenty years later, it seems I’ve failed to do both.
I have only been able to endure the psychological abuse I’ve suffered since Saturday, February 18, 2023 because of God’s love & peace. However, I did NOT need to learn I was (probably) molested as a child, and I did NOT need to suffer the frightening possibility of being framed for child pornography. I did NOT need to be fired from essentially the only hotel left in Southern New York that would hire me, simply for calling the police to report death threats.
I’m trying to please everyone here, while being a decent, repentant person. Really, I only need to be worried about serving God Almighty.
I want you, I’ve always wanted you, and I’m sorry for lying about it for so long. To you and to myself. After reading the 2 Bible verses which depict our life together in March 2004 as a bona fide union, I can only assume the reason I haven’t been able to love another as deeply as you is because you are my wife. I wish that were true in every sense right now. I realize that we are apart because of my unfaithful neglect. I used to say, “we never should have been apart,” but I’ve since revised that to, “I should have been a follower of Jesus.”
Like I’ve said, I interpret your words & actions last fall & winter as a cry for help. You have failed in your stated objectives to have me killed, imprisoned, or institutionalized. If you are indeed my wife, I am obligated to forgive you unconditionally. This is also true if you are a person of the Christian faith. I believe the former is true, but I fear the latter is not. (You invoked Lucifer, after all, back in December.)
Late last summer, I went and filed a written complaint at the FBI headquarters in Lower Manhattan, when I was still working at the Voco Fiorello Hotel. The psychic trauma AND disturbing text messages (including your threats to have me imprisoned for employing undocumented migrants) destabilized me greatly. So greatly, in fact, that I was held & medicated against my will for 2 weeks in the psych ward of Elmhurst Hospital last September. This ultimately resulted in my termination from that job. I called ICE at the time, but it seems the person responsible for bringing in that shady temp agency, Jessica Thompson, is still gainfully employed with Aimbridge Hospitality as a Regional Vice President.
You guys are Feds, but your unilateral, unconstitutional actions have resulted in Medicaid being billed for my roughly 17 ambulance rides and as many psychiatric evaluations over 2 years. SOMEONE TELL ELON. The snake’s gargling its tail.
That was at the beginning of September 2024, and I was fired in early October. By November, I had found work once again, now at The Garden City Hotel. I was still receiving your astral/textual oppression, but I had learned how to cope. I’d just flirt back, but as the threats of harm (and of being framed) intensified, I started taking measures to protect myself. I erased terabytes’ of my own design work (and thousands of dollars’ worth of legal pornography) off my network attached storage. You threatened to kill me while I was at work. Since the walk to the train station after my evening shift went down a dark & desolate road, I was compelled to report this to the Garden City Police Department. I was completely blindsided when hotel management decided to use those emergency calls as justification for terminating me.
I had an interview out at the TWA Hotel at JFK a couple months ago. I had to explain to them why I was only at my last job for a few weeks, and I sent along a copy of the Garden City police report. I assured them, no matter how ferocious my estranged lover’s threats became, the police would not be called to their facility. I still didn’t get the job.
Although your campaign of terror destroyed what remained of my professional career, it also drove me straight into God’s arms. I have no intention of backpedaling on the various addictions (some legal, some not) I’ve been cured of, regardless of the outcome here. I know it will make me a better partner for my wife. I feel like you inadvertently rescued me from damnation, and now I am compelled to return the favor.
I want to be with you because I love you more than anyone else. We chose each other, twenty years ago. I believe you are my wife, and you need to be with someone who cares about your relationship with God. I pray every day that God will endow my crusade to see you saved. I pray that He will rebuke your demons, without causing you discomfort.
I couldn’t forget you for 20 years, and now? Hearing your voice in my head, no less? The cosmic and terrestrial events you have been part & party to, going back to August 2023, amount to the adventure of a lifetime. I’m not going to lose you again; not that I could forget any of this, anyway. I slightly regret that this could spell trouble for you (I’m not obligated to be a spiritual leader for your satanic cohorts; I’m not their husband) over at “Precision Painting Plus,” but if you’re lying for a living, you’re not right with God. I’d like to have a mature dialogue about where we go from here.
I turn 40 this year. I’ve probably had to start over from scratch and rebuild a good 3-4 times over the last 2 decades, including the aftermath of the pandemic. I’m going to need some help from you this time. Maybe things would have been different, if I had simply asked in 2005. Maybe we would have come to God sooner together, like we are now.
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