I used to think “Hopeless Romantic” was an admirable distinction. Now, I realize that I’d much rather be filled with hope, vicariously through my relationship with G-d. The below essay was shared on Feisbuq a few days ago, but I’ve oft suspected audience manipulation by Meta.
The tragic failure of our “Second Act,” twenty years ago, could have been avoided, if I had been a devout Christian. lnstead, I succumbed to fear, despair, and hopelessness, abandoning what would have remained beautiful forevermore, if only I had chosen to be patient & walk with G-d.
Yes, in accordance with Hebrew Law, Genesis 2:24 (and, in the New Testament, Ephesians 5:31) we were, technically, husband & wife when I left my parent’s house to become joined together in March 2004. However, when I died on Saturday, November 16, 2024, you became a widow. Thankfully, I was literally born again that day. In the meanwhile, you have shown only contempt for our Creator, even invoking Lucifer on Thursday, December 19, 2024. I have been trying to help you reconcile with G-d, trying to embody His love, even after your unsuccessful attempts to frame me for unspeakable crimes. I thought I could help you heal. Now, I see that only G-d Almighty can do this, but the onus is on you to open your heart to Him.
If not for my death, the “irrevocable vows,” idea might hold water – but it only works, if you were indeed a virgin (like I was) when we consummated our union in 2004. I’ve asked you for clarity on this, but as with everything else, you’ve decided to shut me out/give me non-answers. That’s fair, since I figure I did something similar back in 2005, when I committed social suicide. I’ve begged your forgiveness for that, but you would rather torment & persecute me for my sins of the past. This is one of many ways you’ve proven to be unlike the True G-d of Mercy.
There was a point, maybe a year ago, where I (blasphemously) thought you could be G-d, mostly due to the telepathy. Once it was obvious that you were looking through my eyes/my screens and then defaming me with deepfake lies – plus a couple of truths – among our friends & colleagues, a panic set in: how could I risk making an enemy of someone so powerful? Best to double down on the love. The astral projection/remote viewing is a neat parlor trick, Constitutional & civil rights aside.
While my foremost objective in our acquaintanceship is – and will forever remain – your salvation, I also want to respect your wishes & honor your desires. (As long as it doesn’t involve heresy, death, or being framed for heinous crimes.) Even if we couldn’t reunite, I still wanted you to witness the undeniably awesome power of G-d’s Love. Maybe you’d finally come to church with your family one day. I’d see that all was well, even without me, and I could stop fearing for your soul.
Fear has been a prominent emotion since I first heard ThE VoIcEs on Saturday, February 18, 2023: fear of being arrested/framed, fear of being murdered, fear of being homeless, fear of losing my mind/consciousness, fear of being alone, plus a whirlwind of irrational frights from my demons. I clearly see that your “power” comes from lies & fear. (John 8:44) Yet, as a result of these twisted, machiavellian games we’ve played, G-d has rid me of sin. At one point, I realized that I have violated every one of the 10 Commandments over the course of my life. I take responsibility for our unborn child, and I beg forgiveness. It will never happen again, as I now cherish life and no longer aspire to sin. Though initially, my penitence was compelled by your oppression & persecution, now I live solely for G-d.
Another problem with ThE VoIcEs is: impressionable folks like me struggle to know what’s real/divine vs. evil. For example, last night, a voice tried to convince me to end this humiliating crusade. I stubbornly refused, insisting on my commitment to imitate G-d’s love to you. Then, I attended Morning Prayer service at Trinity Church, and received the exact same message, written in Micah 7:10:
Then my enemy will see it and will be covered with shame, she who said to me,
“Where is the Lord your God?”
My eyes will see her downfall; even now she will be trampled underfoot like mire in the streets.
If you want to observe me living my best life, worshipping G-d Almighty more fully with each new day, then be my guest. I pray that whatever evil you & your colleagues have chosen to venerate will be destroyed. Quixotically, I don’t want you to suffer. G-d clearly doesn’t want me to suffer, either.
This is not the end of my mission to expose evil & wickedness in the United States Federal Government. Not everybody has the strength to endure the tortures I have suffered. I’ve mentioned to my therapist recently: it feels like I’ve got the devil by the tail, and I’m just waiting for G-d to swoop it up with a raccoon trap. My relationship with my mother was terse enough BEFORE someone – impersonating her – texted me saying she molested me as a child. Now, I’m having to walk a tightrope of honoring my mother, while trying to get the truth…BTW, Diane Faber sent a notarized affidavit to [email protected] 2 days ago DISAVOWING ANY KNOWLEDGE of those traumatizing text messages. That means those messages came from someone YOU know. (“In the agency,” no doubt.) What is it with you people and this pedo garbage? Projecting, much?
There is a silver lining to all this: I have found my unwavering faith. Working in hospitality for 20 years, I felt offering mostly-sincere, smiling pleasantries made me, “a good person.” Alas, I was adrift in a sea of moral relativism. Now, having suffered comprehensive torment at the hands of wicked, deep state oppressors, I am running directly into the loving arms of G-d Almighty and never turning back. Your VoIcE was trying to cause me distress just now, as I walked through Battery Park. I replied, “I’ll see you in church, [redacted]”
