Yesterday, an insurance check for $25,000 arrived in the mail. This was a settlement for the accident that happened on Saturday, November 16, 2024. (The one where G-d brought me back from the dead.) I’ve promised G-d that I will tithe 15% of my income, moving forward. I calculated this to be $3,800. ($550 to each of the six NY Catholic parishes that have welcomed me over the course of my spiritual odyssey, plus $500 to my homeless friend in Lower Manhattan.)
I made a little pilgrimage, starting with the 9am prayer service at Trinity Church. Then, I went across the street to Bank of America to cash the check.
I had planned to just give cash, but then I remembered that time last fall when [redacted] threatened to plant a pound of methamphetamine on me. My chief defense against such treachery is, “follow the money.” So, I decided I needed receipts.
I found the donation link (I have a problem with that label, since a tithe is not technically a donation) on the Trinity website and sent the funds. Next, I decided to phone St. Andrew’s in Westbury, since their website is a bit modest. I needed to confirm they would actually receive my tithe. The priest answered, confirmed the link was valid, and invited me to their noon prayer service. After stopping to give my homeless friend a $400 gift card + $100 cash, I rode the train to Mineola, hopped in a Lyft, and arrived just in time to be anointed with oil. Byzantine Catholics are some of the most pious and devout people I have ever witnessed!
From there, I decided to travel to the other four churches. All except the one closest to my home, St. John Vianney, accept tithes online. Unfortunately, I arrived there after 5 o’clock, and the office was closed. Hoping to fulfill my holy promise before calling Con Edison to turn my lights back on, I knocked on the door to the chapel. Father Vincent – the same priest who had counseled me about ThE VoIcEs and gifted me my first rosary last fall – popped out. I thanked him and let him know G-d had blessed me, handing him my tithe.
“Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”
-2 Corinthians 10:17