John 3:16 | Thanks Be to God.

  • They Don’t Allow You to Have Bees in Here

    They Don’t Allow You to Have Bees in Here

    Was traipsing down Olde Country Roade just now, when suddenly out of nowhere, God landed a bee on me. I carried it over the Meadowbrook Parkway before it finally flew off. I’m thinking the word’s gotten out that I’ve got The Goods. Like junkies flocking to their plug for a pollen fix. read more

  • Our Lady of Hope

    Our Lady of Hope

    I enjoyed their Ash Wednesday service so much, I’ve decided to attend mass here until I have to go back into another mental institution. (Not for ThE VoIcEs this time, but because the especial agents over at Precision Painting Plus terrorized me, and then had me fired for calling the cops about it. I’m broke!) read more

  • The Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall Was More Convincing

    The Easter Bunny at the Menlo Park Mall Was More Convincing

    It might seem like I’m on a religious crusade. Well, I am. After telepathically reconnecting with my soulmate in the astral plane back in August 2023, I once again succumbed to fear, doubt, and intrusive thoughts, as I had 20 years prior. In hindsight, I considered the possibilities that my latest breakdown was caused either read more

  • The Infernal Patio Set

    The Infernal Patio Set

    One day last year, whilst traipsing (or maybe scootin’) through “Eli”’s spooky little village/heckin’ cute hamlet, I passed by a lonely patio outside an abandoned store at the end of a ghostly strip mall known as, “Clocktower Place.” I would continue revisiting this strange locale whenever I crossed it on my daily journeys to deliver read more

  • a Crazy, Gap-Toothed Bastard

    a Crazy, Gap-Toothed Bastard

    Me, unsure exactly how to proceed -VS.- Me, after ThE VoIcEs tell me to just keep bringing daisies to iCarly Place and indulging in non-sinful lust 4 mah waifu. I snapped those inside the lavatory at Ye Olde Vitamin Shoppe on Olde Country Road. Bought some Vitamin E to shove into my plague ear. It read more

  • 3:10 to Yuma Waifu

    3:10 to Yuma Waifu

    You know what else feels eerily similar to 2005? This silence/disconnection, but from you, this time. My ghosting back then was a product of fear, exasperation, impatience, faithlessness, and doubt. So maybe you’re checking some or all of those boxes now, but I can tell you this – the remedy will always be putting faith read more

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@grant.faber

This is how it all started…

Twenty years ago, in 2002, I fell in love and never fell out. We reconciled in 2004. I broke off contact in 2005, because I was too selfish, afraid, and stupid to maintain a long-distance relationship. We ping’ed in 2019, with a full-blown reconnect in 2023. I was in the midst of a psychiatric/spiritual/existential crisis. She helped me. Seemingly scorned and misreading my mind over the astral plane, she then tried to hurt me for my follies & transgressions in the past, but God intervened. I love you, My Darling Eternal.

Grant Faber

Local Crazy Person